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The remarkable power of holding hands with someone you love

Studies show that holding hands can reduce pain and buffer stressful experiences. But its impact on brain activity suggests something more profound is going on.

Advice by
Contributing columnist
February 12, 2024 at 6:00 a.m. EST
A photo illustration of two people holding hands with illustrated pink and red hearts appearing and disappearing
(Washington Post illustration; iStock)
6 min

Q: I’m curious why humans hold hands. Is there a biological reason it’s such a common part of relationships across so many cultures?

A: Holding hands exerts striking effects on our emotional state, especially when it’s with a romantic partner: It can help lower blood pressure, reduce pain and buffer stressful experiences. A 2021 experiment confirmed the soothing effect of holding a spouse’s hand while watching scenes from horror films such as “I Know What You Did Last Summer.” The simple gesture can limit the impact stress has on our autonomic nervous system, which regulates unconscious bodily functions such as pupil dilation. When people feel they are under threat, holding the hands of a loved one calms parts of the brain responsible for vigilance and emotional response.