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As a therapist, I meet many accomplished individuals who doubt their success despite evidence to the contrary.

They believe a promotion was achieved by luck, an acceptance was because of affirmative action or a standing ovation was the audience being nice. They worry their felt lack of competence will soon be discovered, and they will be outed as frauds. Commonly known as impostor syndrome, this phenomenon can undermine ambition and lead to stagnation or result in overworking to prove competence.

Despite the word syndrome, impostor syndrome is not a disorder or disease. It is a <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7174434/" target=_blank>common human</a> experience.

The fear and self-doubt described by impostor syndrome, however, don’t need to be “cured” before doing what matters. We can be psychologically flexible by choosing effective action in the presence of difficult internal experiences.

Impostor syndrome was originally thought to occur only in <a href="https://www.womeninanesthesiology.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/ip_high_achieving_women.pdf">high-achieving women</a>. It is now known to affect all genders, though it may be more common among those who have experienced marginalization.

A history of messages that women don’t belong in male spaces, BIPOC (Black, Indigenous and people of color) don’t belong in White spaces, or LGBTQIA+ individuals don’t belong in straight or cisgender spaces may be a contributing factor to the development of impostor thoughts and feelings.

Humans may also be evolutionarily wired to experience impostorism. Early humans who hunted, gathered and traveled together had a survival advantage. Checking their status in the group — “Do I add value?” “Do I measure up?” “Am I contributing enough?” — ensured they would not suffer a life-threatening abandonment.

In the modern age, being outed as a mediocre accountant, for instance, is not a life-or-death situation. <a href="https://amzn.to/3LxaBjz">Ample research</a>, however, has demonstrated that quality relationships are the cornerstone of health and wellness. A desire to maintain connection may underlie a deep fear of being outed as a fraud.

The spaces that hold the most worry, and where impostor thoughts and feelings arise, are those we hold most dear. When we care about performing skillfully, contributing to a team or making a difference, we worry about doing so competently.

Advice on how to manage impostor thoughts and feelings has centered around positive thinking, and building confidence and self-esteem. This advice may help some people, but for many, it can backfire.

For every data point that supports a person’s success, there is a “yeah, but …” counterpoint the brain will supply. The alternative to strong-arming thoughts and feelings into submission (which requires much attention and energy, and is often ineffective) is to build <a href="http://josephciarrochi.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Ciarrochi-bilich-godsel-2010l-psych-flexibiltiy-as-a-mechanism-of-change-in-act-in-Baer1.pdf">psychological flexibility</a>.

Psychological flexibility is the ability to show up to the present moment, aware of and open to all internal experiences (thoughts, emotions, physical sensations and urges), while choosing behavior based on deeply held personal values.

Values are actions, and qualities of actions, that reflect who a person wishes to be and what they want to stand for.

One way I like to guide patients in values identification is to ask them to write a brief epitaph — one that might reflect how they are living now vs. how they would most like to be living.

For example, a patient’s epitaph might read, “Here lies Jane, she avoided taking on challenges so she could reduce her feelings of fear and never be outed as a fraud.” Jane’s values-based epitaph might read, “Here lies Jane, she pursued the dreams that mattered to her despite self-doubt and fear of being outed as a fraud.”

One of my patients struggled to come up with words for an epitaph, so she shared a visual image of a disco ball instead. She described the object as made of small, imperfect pieces that together sparkled and shined. She also described a disco ball as fun, approachable and reflective. It was how she wanted to be in the world. From that point, when her mind offered self-doubt, she thought about the disco ball before choosing how to proceed.

Choosing to do what matters in the presence of self-doubt is easier said than done, but there are a few strategies to help build this willingness muscle.

Use the breath to make space for discomfort. Inhaling expands the chest and belly — imagine using this expansion to create room for emotional pain. When exhaling, let go of resistance.

Use the senses to practice getting comfortable being uncomfortable. Instead of skipping an unpopular song, listen to each instrument separately, then the harmony, next the lyrics, allowing the experience to land on the ears without judgment. Do the same with an odor or taste, treating these experiences with an open, dispassionate curiosity.

Purposely trigger emotions, and practice being aware and open toward what arises. For example, ride a roller coaster or watch online clips of emotionally evocative movies or political figures.

Practicing a new way of relating to emotional events will build the ability to do so when difficult thoughts and feelings arise in personal or professional settings.

The impostor experience also comes with a <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2022/09/20/how-to-deal-with-inner-critic/">loud inner critic</a>, who says, “Who do you think you are?” “How dare you?”

These thoughts can be painfully compelling, either driving individuals to prove themselves (often leading to burnout and missing out on other important areas of life) or leading them to shy away from important opportunities. Thoughts, though, are not facts. Our minds are prone to a <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3652533/?ref=blog.close.com">negativity bias</a> where they are hardwired to overestimate threat and underestimate coping ability. Attempts to control thoughts often <a href="https://dtg.sites.fas.harvard.edu/DANWEGNER/pub/Wenzlaff%20&%20Wegner.pdf">backfire</a>, and psychological flexibility offers another way.

Step back and observe thoughts. Imagine watching thoughts like a spectator at a parade or marathon. Look at them vs. from them. This is not meant to produce relief from fear or self-doubt, but to create a space where a values-driven choice is more likely to be available.

Take thoughts less seriously. Type an impostor thought into a free online language translator and listen to the robot voice say it back in another language. The meaning remains, but the power dissipates. Putting thoughts into a cartoon voice or song can have a similar effect. It may seem silly, and it is. Accepting thoughts as truths with a capital T can lead to psychological inflexibility. Taking them for what they are — sounds, syllables and images — allows for the choosing of a thoughtful response instead of reacting on autopilot.

Having impostor thoughts and feelings is a normal part of being human. Allowing these thoughts to drive under- or overworking can lead to lost opportunities or burnout. Learning to respond with psychological flexibility as an alternative can create a new repertoire of options.

Jill Stoddard, PhD, is a recovering impostor, clinical psychologist and director of the Center for Stress and Anxiety Management in San Diego. Her book “<a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/imposter-no-more-overcome-self-doubt-and-imposterism-to-cultivate-a-successful-career-stoddard/19628618?ean=9781538724798">Imposter No More: Overcome Self-Doubt and Imposterism to Cultivate a Successful Career</a>” is available now.

We welcome your comments on this column at <a href="mailto:OnYourMind@washpost.com">OnYourMind@washpost.com</a>.

Jill Stoddard

How to overcome impostor syndrome and succeed despite self-doubt

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Celia Jacobs for The Washington Post

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Lost in self-doubt? Here’s how to succeed despite impostor syndrome.


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