The Washington Post

staff

Comics page

Respond to prefers-color-scheme dark in app web views

Follow section front redirects in Spectrum

Enable NLP source in PCS for load testing

Switch off the News Alerts Survey Widget when we have enough responses

Poll to determine if new LUF updates are available

Allows the winning A/B test variant to be turned on without Spectrum deployment

Show infinite scrolling sections in Assembler MultiView

Show option for NLP article summaries in Action Bar

Show NLP summaries collection recirc on article pages

A general feature flag for Recipe Features that aren't yet released

Feature flag for media team features that aren't yet released

Use new Orca video player for preroll plugin in Spectrum

Show the snow tracker (instead of the heat tracker) on Spectrum

I used to dismiss my mom’s advice. Then I found a note she wrote before she died.  

Photos of his mom at lunch are a balm people didn’t know they needed

Dog hit by car loses leg, is adopted by firefighter who helped her

The case for eating at Italian gas stations

Cruise ship drags dead whale into New York, prompting investigation

5 big travel lessons from an accomplished conservationist

Miss Manners: Journalist posts on social media about a typo at another outlet

Carolyn Hax: Why is he trying to sabotage his partner’s very public success?

Ask Amy: What do I say about my former walking buddy who yelled at me?

Nats win opener at Fenway behind Patrick Corbin and a lockdown bullpen

Jayden Daniels makes Commanders debut at rookie minicamp: ‘He’s a stud’

To get outs with his fastball, Trevor Williams put his ego aside

Courtroom photo ban adds to hurdles for Trump trial journalists

Israel’s shameful ban on Al Jazeera

Checks, not sex, and other takeaways from Trump’s New York hush money trial

The urgent air defense lessons of April 16 

Are smartphones destroying childhood? It’s complicated.

In the campaign against Donald Trump, do the ends justify the means?

Bishop vanished. His species can still be saved.

In photos: Extreme solar storm brings spectacular northern lights

What actually happens within your lawn when you don’t mow it

Google’s new ‘Find My’ device network is useful but a stalking risk

Apple apologizes for iPad ad after blowback 

Hack targeting hospital chain Ascension is impacting patient care

Narrative of Trump snoozing in court takes hold — much to his annoyance

Of course Trump intertwined the Trump Organization into his presidency

Trump might not go to jail, but this trial is a close second

Kristi Noem’s dog killing is pure Southern gothic

Claire Messud turns her family’s history into a masterpiece

Joseph Epstein, conservative provocateur, tells his life story in full

Malaysia’s appetite for oil and gas puts it on collision course with China

Horse’s rooftop rescue gives flood-hit Brazil ‘something we could root for’

Russia unleashes new attacks on Ukraine’s Kharkiv border region

US-POLITICS-BIDEN

Nick Galifianakis

Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared Sept. 23, 2007.

Dear Carolyn: My mother-in-law is insisting she should be in the delivery room when my son is born. I don’t want extra people in the room, anyone other than my husband and my own mother. (I will be trying to do this drug-free.)

My husband feels as if he is between a rock and a hard place, since his mother and I are both adamant. But I think I get to choose, since I will be the one in labor.

I already told my mother-in-law I am uncomfortable with her presence during delivery, and she apparently spent a week crying about it, much to the dismay of my husband and father-in-law, who are pressuring me to change my mind, because they are used to giving her her way when she does the drama thing.

But I feel it is important to set some boundaries and not be manipulated. Do you think I am being unfair?

Va.: I think I am chromosomally incapable of sympathizing with anyone who would bully her way into the delivery room of a woman who has said to her face that she isn’t wanted there.

Therefore, by extension, there’s no sympathy here for your husband, either, who is not between a rock and a hard place but between a sane and a stupid place. A bed and a couch place. A forehead and a hand place.

If he were writing to me, I would suggest he avail himself of this valuable opportunity to practice being your husband and your child's father, by letting his mother know where her family leaves off and where his begins. He can say very sympathetically that he understands how much this means to her, but that you and he have made your decision (note the two words of crucial backup): that you're the one running this marathon, your needs are paramount and the matter is closed.

But he isn’t writing to me, so all I can do is encourage you to hold that boundary and to pass along my suggestion to your husband. Maybe with a bit more diplomacy.

It might help, too, if you can find some other bone you wouldn’t mind throwing your mother-in-law’s way. (Just to be clear: I do mean that figuratively.) Invite her, say, to help you pick out X or decide on Y. Her tactics notwithstanding, she does deserve some acknowledgment that she’s not just “extra people”; she’s the grandma.

Finally, don’t be afraid, just this once, to let others do the dirty enforcement work. You’ll have enough to worry about, so warn the obstetric nurses that they need to barricade the door. It’s okay: They don’t have to face your mother-in-law at Thanksgiving dinner.

Dear Carolyn: Who normally pays for the wedding pictures: the bride and groom, or the parents of the bride?

Normally, the person who wants something pays for it, and the only exception (aside from a court order) is when someone else volunteers. Because you’re asking, I have to believe the people who want them — the happy couple, yeah? — either can’t or don’t want to pay, and her parents haven’t volunteered.

If so, then the bride and groom either find the money, skip the photographer or take enough luxuries out of the picture so they can record the ones they keep.

Carolyn Hax started her Washington Post advice column in 1997, after five years on the Style desk and none as a therapist. The column includes cartoons by "relationship cartoonist" Nick Galifianakis — Carolyn's ex-husband — and appears in dozens of newspapers.

Carolyn Hax

washpost

Carolyn Hax: Husband won’t tell mom she can’t be in the delivery room

the-washington-post

For The Washington Post

Ask Amy

Ask Elaine

Ask Sahaj

Miss Manners

Parenting Advice

Work Advice

Advice

iptc-media/economy_business_and_finance

iptc-media/economy_business_and_finance/economic_sector/financial_and_business_service/wedding_service

iptc-media/society/family

iptc-media/science_and_technology

iptc-media/science_and_technology/social_sciences

iptc-media/economy_business_and_finance/economic_sector/financial_and_business_service

iptc-media/society

client-blocklists/Client List: Morgan Stanley KWs - INCLUDES ANY

client-blocklists/Client List: Becton Dickinson KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Boeing KWs 2021 - EXCLUDE ALL 

client-blocklists/CLIENT LIST: Nomura KWs 2021 - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Johnson & Johnson KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Bed Bath & Beyond KWs - EXCLUDE ALL

client-blocklists/WaPo: Combined Disaster Keyword List - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Exxon Mobil  - INCLUDES ANY

client-blocklists/Client List: USAA KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: T. Rowe Price KWs - INCLUDES ANY

client-blocklists/Client List: Microsoft KWs 2 - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Discover Card KWs – EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/T. Rowe Price KWs - INCLUDES ANY

client-blocklists/Ford/Lincoln KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

advertising/B2_Baby Content_legacyaux_gnp

client-blocklists/HBO KWs - INCLUDES ANY

client-blocklists/Google PG KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Ronald McDonald House KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Capital One (One Tech) KWs - INCLUDES ANY

client-blocklists/Client List: Diageo - Johnnie Walker KWs - INCLUDES ANY

client-blocklists/ Client List: Mercedes EQS KWs - INCLUDES ANY

client-blocklists/Client List: Invesco KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Mercedes KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Navy Federal Credit Union NFCU KWs 2 - EXCLUDES ALL - 12.23.20

client-blocklists/Client List: Organon KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: AT&T KWs 2021 - INCLUDES ANY

client-blocklists/Client List: Optum KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Synchrony Financial KWs - INCLUDES ANY

client-blocklists/Client List: Inpixon KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Apple TV+ KW – EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: ExxonMobil 03312021 KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Showtime KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client Neg KW List: Omega KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Marcus Goldman Sachs Neg KW List - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/PMI KWs 2021 - INCLUDES ANY

client-blocklists/ Geico KWs - EXCLUDES ALL_4.29.21

client-blocklists/Client List: Eli Lily KWs - INCLUDES ANY

client-blocklists/Client List: IBM KWs ALTERNATE Watson - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Citibank KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Citibank KWs 2021 - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: IBM KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Purina KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Fidelity Investments KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

advertising/Citrix Mindfulness

advertising/B2_Family Matter 2.12.15_legacyaux_lf3

advertising/B2_Family & Parenting_legacyaux_v02

client-blocklists/CME KW List 2022 - EXCLUDES ALL 

advertising/B2_Health and Beauty_legacyaux_3fv

client-blocklists/Bank of America KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

advertising/B2_Holiday_legacyaux_o3u

advertising/Client Keywords: On Running

client-blocklists/BP KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

advertising/B2_Family_legacyaux_icy

client-blocklists/National Instruments KWs - INCLUDES ANY

client-blocklists/Client List: Intel KWs - INCLUDES ANY

advertising/B2_Lifestyle_legacyaux_ipv

advertising/B2_Lifestyle_legacyaux_stu

client-blocklists/Client List: AT&T Digital Divide  - INCLUDES ANY

client-blocklists/Samsung 2021 KWs - EXCLUDE ALL

client-blocklists/Google PG Competitor KWs - EXCLUDES ALL 

advertising/B2_Positive News_legacyaux_hlt

advertising/B2_Society_legacyaux_0cz

client-blocklists/Client List: Google KWs

client-blocklists/Client List: GEICO KWs

client-blocklists/Client KWs : FBI

client-blocklists/Client List: KPMG KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Navy Federal Credit Union NFCU KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/WaPo: Human Disaster

client-blocklists/Client List: Novo Nordisk KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Siemens KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Facebook KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Cisco KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Capital Concerts KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: AT&T ALT KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/FX Excludes All Disney

client-blocklists/Client List: Northrop Grumman KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Boeing KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Aetna KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Google KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Philip Morris KWs - INCLUDES ANY 

client-blocklists/Dupixent neg kws - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Capital One KWs 2 - INCLUDES ANY - 1.4.21

client-blocklists/Bank of America Merrill Lynch KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/CME KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: Office Depot KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Chase KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Client List: ETrade KWs - EXCLUDES ALL

client-blocklists/Amazon KWs - EXCLUDE ALL 

prism://prism.query/site,/lifestyle/advice&limit=20

The Washington Post's Advice and Relationships section brings you the best advice and etiquette on topics ranging from work to dating to parenting. Other features include Date Lab, etiquette blogs and chats and parenting stories.

prism://prism.query/site-articles-only,/lifestyle&limit=20

Lifestyle

Washington Post Lifestyle gives you the latest fashion and beauty trends, home d&eacute;cor pointers, food and recipe ideas and reviews, relationship advice, travel ideas, wellness tips and much more.

Carolyn Hax: Husband won’t tell his mom she can’t be in the delivery room