The Washington PostDemocracy Dies in Darkness

P.M. Forni, scholar of civility in an age of harsh discourse, dies at 67

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December 11, 2018 at 5:53 p.m. EST
P.M. Forni was an Italian literature professor who became a leading scholar of civility. (Lois Raimondo/The Washington Post)

P.M. Forni, a mild-mannered Johns Hopkins professor whose popular book on civility inspired campaigns to counter a trend toward rude behavior and harsh discourse in American society, died Dec. 1 in Towson, Md. He was 67.

The cause was complications of Parkinson’s disease, said his wife, Virginia Forni.

A faculty member at Johns Hopkins University from 1985 to 2014, Dr. Forni was a professor of early Italian literature and a scholar of the works of Dante and the Renaissance writer Giovanni Boccaccio. He decided to focus on civility in the 1990s while teaching a class on “The Divine Comedy,” realizing that he wanted his students to be kind human beings more than he wanted them to know about Dante.

“Courtesy, politeness, manners and civility are all a form of awareness,” Dr. Forni wrote. “Being civil means constantly being aware of others and weaving restraint, respect and consideration into the very fabric of this awareness.”

In 1997, Dr. Forni and colleagues established the Johns Hopkins Civility Project — now known as the Civility Initiative — a collaboration of academic disciplines that addressed the significance of civility and manners in modern life.

Dr. Forni became the face of the organization and its lead spokesman. He brought to the role a gentlemanly demeanor, a flair for poetic language and a beguiling Italian accent.

“He was the embodiment of civility,” said Daniel Buccino, who took over the Hopkins Civility Initiative when Dr. Forni stepped away from the project a few years ago. “He was so gentle and pleasant and curious. He used to say, when recruiting someone for the faculty, you want someone who is smart and nice, and he was that — lovely, thoughtful and considerate.”

Dr. Forni’s advice for how to deal with bad behavior

Dr. Forni’s subject struck a chord with people who sensed that Americans needed guidance on fundamental etiquette and deferential behavior — in the workplace, on the road, in public places and at home. He became the news media’s first choice for comment when public displays of crude behavior begged for the thoughtful perspective of a lecturer in manners.

“His work was really the North Star of what we strive for,” said Buccino, who is also clinical manager of the Hopkins Broadway Center for Addiction. “This was not about an insistence that we all speak the same way or use the same table settings,” he added. “It was driven by the underlying wish that we be respectful of others.”

By the time of the publication of his 2002 book, “Choosing Civility: The 25 Rules of Considerate Conduct,” Dr. Forni enjoyed a level of celebrity that landed him appearances on television and radio talk shows. He was a sought-after speaker who visited college campuses and conducted workshops across the country.

Publishers translated his book into Italian, German, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Portuguese and other languages, and it has had dozens of reprintings over the years, according to his agent, Lisa DiMona. Colleges and high schools created courses based on the book; some listed it for summer reading.

Are we any less civil than we were in the past?

In 2010, having collected numerous stories about discourteous behavior and thorny social situations from readers of the first book, Dr. Forni followed it up with a second, “The Civility Solution.”

His books and lectures sparked local civility movements across the country.

“A veritable rediscovery of civility is going on at both the local and national levels,” he told the Baltimore Sun in 2007. “Communities such as Howard County [in Maryland]; Cleveland Heights, Ohio; Duluth, Minnesota; and many others have launched ­civility-oriented initiatives to strengthen the bonds of civil society in their midst.”

That same year, Dr. Forni and colleagues surveyed Baltimore residents to determine what behaviors they considered rude. They came up with a list of 10, from “discrimination in the workplace” to “using cellphones in mid-conversation or during a meeting.”

Dr. Forni’s “Terrible 10” also included aggressive driving, bullying, demeaning service workers, misusing handicapped privileges, littering, smoking in nonsmoking areas, making jokes that mocked someone’s race or disability, and taking credit for someone else’s work.

From the magazine: Two daring assignments for teaching civility

Pier Massimo Forni was born in Bologna, Italy, on Oct. 16, 1951. His father was a veterinarian, and his mother was a homemaker.

Dr. Forni graduated from the University of Pavia in 1974 and received a doctorate in Italian literature from UCLA in 1981. His third book, “The Thinking Life: How to Thrive in the Age of Distraction,” was published in 2011.

Survivors include his wife of 18 years, the former Virginia Drake.

Dr. Forni’s work continues to inspire civility efforts. This past summer, Harford County, Md., rolled out its “Choose Civility” campaign to “uplift our community by promoting respect, restraint, and responsibility everywhere (including the Internet).”

— Baltimore Sun

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