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Confident of victory over Ukraine, Russia exhibits Western war trophies

Two women are seeking Mexico’s presidency. But the race is about a man.

Hamas in Cairo for hostage talks as Israel briefs aid agencies on Rafah

Trump Media auditor charged by SEC with ‘massive fraud’

Google’s empire is massive. A judge will soon rule if it’s a monopoly.

Five tech products we actually like

In photos: At least 39 dead as historic flooding hits southern Brazil

Sea level rise brings new era of dangerous flooding

Michael Cohen keeps broadcasting despite being a witness

Ask Amy: My boyfriend just confessed he’s almost $20,000 in debt

Miss Manners: Is it inappropriate to reach out to old girlfriends?

Carolyn Hax: Longtime friend won’t forgive being last-minute canceled for a guy

The new cure-all for vacation excess: the IV drip 

What’s the best bus to New York? We tested 5 for comfort and value.

Adaptive equipment is making national parks more inclusive

Biden confronts campus protests; Trump hedges on accepting election results

Kristi Noem just won’t stop talking about killing her dog

Noem’s dog-killing isn’t popular, though Trump supporters are divided

In a pinch, the Nationals finally find some offense

Is Pastis as good as our food critic thought? He sent spies to find out.

The Capitals, a team in transition, know what they want this offseason

Strangers help Sesame Street puppeteer after heirloom necklace was stolen

Teen grabs wheel when driver passes out and school bus veers into traffic

Cat climbed into Amazon return box, found alive 630 miles away

The Post endorses April McClain Delaney and Tom Royals for Maryland’s 6th District

On Press Freedom Day, little to celebrate for Hong Kong’s journalists

Young Georgians want to be part of Europe. Their government is in the way.

The New York Times, alone in its outrage over access to Biden

The ‘Access Hollywood’ video cemented Trump’s air of invincibility

Stephen A. Smith would like even more of your attention

Use all the letters in “The Odd Couple” to create “Poled Tech Duo”: Felix and Oscar open a strip club with free WiFi.

“Jeopardy!” &gt; “Ye Pea Pod Jar”: A cooking show about old-fashioned pea-pickling.

“The Chase” &gt; “The Aches”: The cast of “Friends,” now in their 50s, reunite to sit around and talk about how everything seems to hurt all the time.

“CSI New York” &gt; “Kooky Wonky Rices”: How to prepare the world’s most common grain in the weirdest ways.

This week: Use all the letters of any TV show (including streamed ones), past or present, to create a new show; or it can be a new episode of the original, as in the first example, out of the mind — the out-of-his-mind mind — of Bob Staake. The other examples, of new shows, are by 58-time Loser Sarah Walsh, who suggested this contest and just might have been thinking about her own appearances on both “Jeopardy!” (2017) and “The Chase” (2021). Your entry can be an anagram — the letters simply rearranged — like the first and third examples, or you may repeat any letters as often as you like, like the other two. But if the original has, say, two O’s, you don’t have to use them both. You can’t omit any of the letters from the original, though.

Submit up to 25 entries at <a href="http://wapo.st/enter-invite-1458">wapo.st/enter-invite-1458</a> (no capitals in the Web address). Please type each entry without a line break, as above, so the Empress can sort the entries and not go any more bonkers than she already is. Deadline is Monday, Oct. 25; results appear Nov. 14 in print, Nov. 11 online.

Winner gets the<a href="http://wapo.st/conv1413"> Clowning Achievement,</a> our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives an inflatable roast turkey made of beach ball-type plastic (“Ingredients: Expandable poultry”), a nice 16 inches long and perfect for Thanksgiving dinner, as long as eating is not part of your dinner plans. Donated by Dave Prevar.

Other runners-up win their choice of our <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/LKRWSMRCSQI6VK72F6756BDXE4.jpg&amp;w=1440">“For Best Results, Pour Into Top End” Loser Mug</a> or our <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/resizer/OVL3xLv3lUNc9scOF3jJU7F58Zg=/480x0/arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/4ZSVYRXMEYI6RC2HXUEXL7LBTE.jpg">“Whole Fools”</a> Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get one of our <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/EA4ZJRAQ2EI6ZHFWX6JVDISXTE.jpg&amp;w=916">lusted-after Loser magnets, </a> “A Small Jester of Appreciation” or “Close, but Ceci N’est Pas un Cigare.” First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/44410029@N06/8292046316/in/photolist-dCJUtN-dBUNwr-dBUTCg-dBUs3Z-dBZRem-dC1qcU-bG2HX2-c2erLS" target="_blank">FirStink</a> for their first ink). See general contest rules and guidelines at <a class="showlink" href="http://wapo.st/InvRules">wapo.st/InvRules</a>. The headline “Hai Tops” was submitted by both Tom Witte and Kevin Dopart; Tom also wrote the honorable-mentions subhead. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at <a class="showlink" href="http://on.fb.me/invdev" title="on.fb.me">on.fb.me/invdev</a>; “like” the Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at <a class="showlink" href="http://bit.ly/inkofday">bit.ly/inkofday; </a> and follow <a href="https://twitter.com/StyleInvite">@StyleInvite</a> on Twitter.

The Style Conversational: The Empress’s weekly online column will return next week.

<a id="report">And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . .</a>

<a href="http://wapo.st/invite1454">Week 1454</a> was our third contest for punku — haiku that includes a pun or other wordplay. (For our sophomoric purposes, a haiku was any three lines whose syllables divided into 5-7-5.) The Empress tried to screen out old jokes, but if one got through, okay, it’s 17 syllables. Calm yourself.

Vaccines ought to be Essential for employment — Jab security. (Dave Silberstein, College Park, Md.)

Bezos, Branson, Musk: I’m glad they’ve all avoided Orbituaries. (Steve Baldwin, Bethesda, Md.)

and the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Thumb-Miniature-Editions-Jason-Kayser/dp/0762437081/ref=asc_df_0762437081/?tag=hyprod-20&amp;linkCode=df0&amp;hvadid=312114710380&amp;hvpos=&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;hvrand=11097809222774477435&amp;hvpone=&amp;hvptwo=&amp;hvqmt=&amp;hvdev=c&amp;hvdvcmdl=&amp;hvlocint=&amp;hvlocphy=9007736&amp;hvtargid=pla-491788373446&amp;psc=1">Thumb Sumo kit</a>: In Senate showdowns, Why is it Mitch won’t buckle? He figures Chuck’ll. (Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.)

And the winner of the Clowning Achievement:

We are not close to Solving climate change, but we Are getting warmer. (Laura Clairmont, Venice, Fla.)

The center folded Once Trump made politics a Dirty MAGA-scene. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Chemistry! Who knew That the smallest of bases Could make a Big Lye! (Kathy Hardis Fraeman, Olney, Md.)

When you bet on the Nats And they don’t win, it’s a shame: You <a href="https://www.si.com/mlb/2021/07/30/scherzer-turner-trade-dodgers-the-opener">lost your shirt, sir. </a> (Keith Ord, Potomac, Md.)

Athenians hate The morning sunlight because Dawn is tough on Greece. (Luke Baker, Columbia, Md.)

My dating life is Like a credit card offer: One year, no interest (Erika Ettin, Washington)

Biden’s plan to spend Trillions on infrastructure: Colossus of roads. (John O’Byrne, Dublin, Ireland)

How rich do you need To be for a trip to space? Astronomically! (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)

Since Alex passed on, “Jeopardy’s” been trying to Make the host of it. (Jesse Frankovich)

A <a href="https://theathletic.com/news/mlb-reveals-new-plan-to-crack-down-on-pitchers-using-foreign-substances/Se53nqg0buD1/">foreign substance</a> On my cap? No way! I’m the Pitcher of virtue! (Ann Martin, Brentwood, Md)

Steakhouse waiter: “What Cut of meat would you like, Mitch?” “A filet, buster.” (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)

Nicki Minaj’s <a href="https://www.wired.com/story/nicki-minaj-vaccine-twitter/">Story of her cousin’s friend</a> Was totally nuts. (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)

Pence may be spineless, But when he well could have caved, I’m just glad he Quayled. (Frank Osen)

I overindulged At the Middle East Cafe: Now I falafel. (Craig Dykstra, Centreville, Va.)

“Fast and Furious 100” title should be “Pop Goes Vin Diesel” (Marni Penning Coleman, Falls Church, Va.)

Indian food jokes Even at one’s own expense Don’t curry favor. — G. Weingarten, Washington (Mark Richardson, Takoma Park, Md.)

Uncle Bob’s slide shows Chronicle all his wild travels From hither to yawn. (Mark Richardson)

Under DeSantis, Florida has turned into The Shun-Science State. (Chris Doyle)

What keeps us Texans Glued to the news in Austin? The farce of Abbott. (Chris Doyle)

If Lake Mead’s water Level drops any farther, It’ll be Lake Mud. (Chris Doyle)

Oh, Magic 8-Ball: Should I get my vaccine? “All Science points to yes . . .” (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

Underpants that lift And separate should be called A caboostier. (Jon Gearhart)

Nothing’s better than World peace, but a warm beer is Better than nothing (Ward Foeller, Charlottesville, Va.)

What is that high coo? Pigeons targeting my hair, Laughing from the sky (Dottie Gray, Alexandria, Va.)

Poor Desdemona Died, followed by Othello. Co-Moor-bidity! (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.)

Boromir’s smashed nose Makes it clear that he should not <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r21CMDyPuGo">Walk into more doors</a>. (Todd DeLap, Fairfax, Va.)

Calculus exam Flunked after a night of fun: Don’t drink and derive. (Luke Baker)

The Artifice Deal: Trump’s new memoir should have six Chapter 11s. (Roy Ashley, Washington)

Hookers who service Overweight men learn how to Roll with the paunches. (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)

Fire reported At the optician’s office: It went up in frames. (Erika Ettin)

Daniel Craig looks great: Although his hair’s turning gray, It’s no time to dye. (John O’Byrne)

I followed the signs Straight to hell — I should have known: The font? Sans-seraph. (Liav Lewitt, Silver Spring, Md., a First Offender)

Why did the wine cork Stay in place? The sommelier Lacked any screw-pulls. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)

He endures spring for One day. Then blossoms open; He falls to his sneeze. (Coleman Glenn, Huntingdon Valley, Pa.)

How often do Smurfs Stick their butts out the window? Once in a blue moon. (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)

The artist would paint While high on weed. He called it “All-in-a-daze work.” (Beverley Sharp)

Still running — deadline Monday night, Oct. 18: our Ask Backwards contest. See <a href="http://wapo.st/invite1457">wapo.st/invite1457</a>.

DON’T MISS AN INVITE! <a href="http://tinyletter.com/TheEmpress">Sign up here </a> to receive a once-a-week email from the Empress as soon as The Style Invitational and Style Conversational go online every Thursday, complete with links to the columns.

University of Maryland at College Park, BA in economics, 1980

Pat Myers is the "Empress" of The Style Invitational, The Washington Post's famed contest for clever, edgy, wacky humor and wordplay. In the role since 2003 -- 900-plus contests ago -- she writes the column and is its only judge. She also writes the weekly Style Conversational column and runs the Style Invitational Devotees page on Facebook.