When I got divorced, I hated hearing these 5 responses. But they were all true.

Here’s an ugly truth about breakups: Sometimes your friends don’t know how to respond. Strangers certainly won’t know how to react. If you get divorced before 30, like I did, other people’s comments, though meant to soothe, might feel like coldhearted jabs.

1. “Accept the things you cannot change.”

There I was, alone on a bench shaded by the shadow of the Virgin Mary. That wasn’t how I typically spent my Saturday afternoons, but there was nothing normal about that weekend. Sitting in a rose-filled garden of a nearby church, I reached into my pocket and smoothed out a copy of the serenity prayer. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,” I whispered. “The courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”